Are you a Wearer, a Feeler, a Sniffer, or a Licker?

A variety of classifications but believe me I have seen them all! For those of you that don't know me, I work part time in the lingerie department of a major department store. I must confess they hired me as Christmas help back in 2005 and for some strange reason they keep putting me on the schedule and I have just never told them to take me off.

We sell a LOT of panties and we offer them two different ways – either in a package (my selection is a little more limited here and they are mainly “granny panties”) or as a single. The singles we display either on a table or hanging.

While the majority of the panties I sell to women I sell a LOT to men. Now I know that is not my place to judge but believe me from the way they act and talk I can tell that some of these male purchasers are buying for themselves. Face it, when they bring them to the counter and make comments like “I hope the elastic in the legs don't itch” or “do these really hide muffin tops?”............they are buying them to wear. These are the Wearers.

Then there are the Feelers...........they go around “stroking” the material and the crotch of the panties. I have even caught a few who rubbed the crotch on their cheeks and the back of their hands. Now I can't really judge these guys to harsh because I have had females do the same thing, face it when it is going to be right next to a VERY sensitive area all day long.............you want it SOFT.

Now we get to the last two categories that just really kind of creep me out.

The Sniffer...........these are the guys that I have observed Sniffing the crotch of the pantie. They usual start with Feeling and move on to the Sniffing

And then there are the Lickers...........

Yep I have caught two over the years who went from Sniffing to Licking the crotch of the pantie! I have asked both to leave the department and I assure you that I have taken THOSE panties off the sales floor – never to be sold!

Now before you judge MY store............let me say that over the years I have talked to women who have worked in other stores...........if they were there very long they have ALL observed Wearer's, Feelers, Sniffers, and Licker's!

I know that many people now days buy article of clothing, take it home, and wear it without ever washing it. My advice when you buy new panties? WASH THEM FIRST! Just saying, cause................well face it...............I have no clue how many I HAVEN”T caught!

Connections...............Some Good, Some Bad, Some Don't Count!

Spoiler Alert

**Pulling up soapbox, stepping on it**

PEOPLE!!!!!!!!! STOP AND THINK!

Across this great big world we are ALL connected in some way or another. Sometimes we want to embrace these connections and sometimes we want to ignore or hide from these connections...........face it, Uncle Bill that likes to fart in a crowd of strangers is not really someone we want to claim all the time! 

Sometimes we want to distance ourselves are far as possible from certain people and things. I always laughed when my x would speak of a certain two children when someone would mention their relation to him...........his response was that they were his “Mother's Brother's Wife's Children from a PREVIOUS marriage and therefore not related to him”.

Sometimes we want the connection to certain people and things. I had a friend in college who's last name was Lincoln, anytime she was introduced to someone she would give a five minutes speech on how she was related to Abraham Lincoln............I am not going to retype that one – it is LONG!

AND sometimes we , as outsiders, we WANT to find a connection! I remember back several years ago when there was a hard push in the Baptist Church (yes I am a baptized Baptist) to show the evil in Rock and Roll music. There was an evangelist making the rounds of churches to show us the evil. Many of the examples he used “proved” his point by highlighting the third word of each song line or the second word of every six words...............he was NOT proud of me when I told the audience that if they picked 10 hymns out of the hymnal, and gave me some time, I could make at least ONE of them say bad things!

Why am I on this rant? Well because I am on Facebook and I see a LOT of those repost of “So and So has proof that So and So has ties to (or ) is behind (insert what ever you want cause they probably have).

All I am asking is that you STOP, THINK, and maybe – just maybe do a little RESEARCH of your own! And please for goodness sake do not use Wikipedia as your ONLY research source (unless you have been under a rock for the last 10 years you should know that anybody can go in and CHANGE/EDIT things in Wikipedia!).

Look for the most NEUTRAL source that you can find (yes I know that is very hard to do now days but they are still out there).

READ THE WHOLE STORY! Yeah I know that is a tough one but let's get real here – HEADLINES are written to get your attention................they are NOT written to tell the WHOLE story! And many times the headline can be misleading as to what the story is REALLY saying!

I am not trying to influence anyone to any certain way of thinking...........my ancestors have fought in just about every war this country has been a part of starting with the American Revolution (I think we skipped the war of 1812, but we were on both sides of the Civil War)........heck I even had them in the Texas Revolution). They all represented Freedom of Speech, Freedom to Think, Freedom to Express Yourself...............but I don't think any of them fought for the Freedom to Spread half truths, lies, and just made up stuff in general.

Shout the Truth from the Rooftops...........and even if I do not agree with you..............I will defend your Right to do so.

**stepping off soapbox**

Have a Great Day! Everyday I wake up is an AWESOME one!

The Power of the Porch

Front or Back, screened in or open, the porch is one of the most influential pieces of architecture in the history of our country!

You think I am kidding don't you...........well I am not! Let's talk about the porch.

What is a porch? Well to start with it is attached to a home, doesn't matter if it is on the front or the back it is still a porch. Okay I confess I am partial to the front porch but the back will do in a pinch.

I can't tell you if it is an economic thing, a fashion thing, or what............but builders have steered away from porches for many years. Modern homes have been geared toward the “inside” world and their nod to the outside world has been a flat front or a tiny entry way where only one or two people can stand.

A true porch has a roof over it and a concrete, wood, or brick flooring. It has to be wide enough for at least a couple of chairs – a swing is even BETTER!

The porch serves as a Neutral zone between the outside world and the private world of our home. It is that gray area between home and work, between public and private...................it is the shallow end of the pool of our lives.

Think about it, when you go to someones home that has a porch..........when you step on the porch don't you feel welcome? Don't you start to feel at home before you ever knock on the door? Compare that feeling to the feeling you have when you walk straight up to someones house that has no porch? It is like a WALL..........that says your either “in or out”!

When you leave it is a place to transition from home to the outside.............not an abrupt departure but one that takes several steps and gives you time to adjust.

Add all this to the fact that is the inside/outside extension of your home and you have a winner deluxe. It is the place you can relax and feel at home with the shelter of a roof from the sun or rain while you enjoy the view. It is a place where you can hear the sounds and sights of the neighborhood while in your favorite chair.

A porch helps to keep you in touch with the outside world from the comfort of your private world.

We need to make porches the “fashion trend” again, I sincerely believe it would help with our connections and bring back our neighborhoods.

Change..................and I don't mean coins!

Change.................

Change – while it is not technically a “four letter word” (yes I can count) but for many people that put it in that category as BAD. I know you are setting there shouting at the screen that change can be GOOD and I agree with you............at least it can be good AFTER the change...............after you get adjusted, after you get used to it, AFTER you see that it works!

I like to talk a good talk.............I like to tell people that I LIKE change...........but in truth it is really a LIE that I tell to people and to myself.

I HATE change!

For years I have laughed and told people that I am like an old cow...........once I find a trail that works that is the way I go EVERYTIME! Now to me it makes total sense, after all I got to where I wanted successfully why on earth should I go to the trouble of finding a new way to go? Heck I might get lost, or be late, and just who would that benefit?

Now give me some credit here............my tolerance for change has several different levels and all of them begin with one simple question............

WHY? Why am I making this change? What is the reason? Why should I do this?

If the change makes sense, if it is going to make things easier (well after I struggle through LEARNING how to do it the new way), then my tolerance is pretty high – for the most part. Then I am willing to give it a try! I may be a little skeptical at first but depending on the outcome I may just embrace this change...............of course I may still hate it – I do have my reasons you know! Give me a break - I once spent 30 FRIKKEN hours trying to learn how to do a process that after I mastered it they sent out an update that made 90% of the process obsolete.

If there is no good reason, if it is going to make my life harder (or what I am doing harder to do) my tolerance level for the change is very low............in fact I can confess sometimes it is absolutely non existent.

I have ZERO tolerance for Change that is just for Change Sake! 

Now I must interject with a redeeming fact.............I can "tolerate" the Change at the end much better than I tolerate the PROCESS of making the change.  It is kind of like living in a house and remodelling it at the same time...........been there, done that and it was not pleasant!

Present Change to me...............then be prepared to give me Logical and Sound reasons as to WHY this is really a good thing.

If I still think it isn't...........I will tell you so

If I agree...............then we will both Live Long and Prosper! :)

Giraffes, Laughter, and Pooh Heads

Here is a riddle for you:

You log on to Facebook, you see a friends post about a riddle, you read the riddle and you private message the friend with the answer that you just KNOW is correct.............the friend says that you are WRONG and now you must change your profile pic to that of a Giraffe for three days. What do you do?

Laugh and change your profile pic?

Check Snopes to see if your friend has the correct answer?

Tell your friend that you are right and that they are wrong?

Make fun of the “stupid” game and the “stupid” people who play it?

As for myself, I laughed (actually I posted back “crap, I was sure I had it right”), then I hunted for an awesome giraffe photo and changed my profile pic............then I reposted the riddle to see how many others I could “catch”. For the next three days I laughed when I spotted a new giraffe, I teased friends who got it wrong (I had the right...........I had my own giraffe). All along I still contended that my answer was valid but I played along and enjoyed the game.

When I reposted the riddle private messages began popping up so fast I could not even read them all (hey to save time I actually copied and pasted “You are WRONG, it is your EYES!”). Some friends said YEAH I got it right! (Marceita Dorsey was the first and boy did she gloat about it! ;) lol ), Some friends said something similar to my response (Oh crud, I thought I had it right), and Some argued (gotta love the fact that the majority of the ones doing the arguing were engineers – boy can they get technical! Lol). I put a few of these on my list to never go to a magic show with...........they will totally spoil every trick!

Some of the ones that argued the answer still changed their pics and others did not.  I had one that got it wrong and even told me that they were not going to change their pic because the riddle and the game was stupid.............okay.........why did you even play to start with? 

A day or so ago the “memes” began, and believe me I laughed at all of them. I also noticed a few of the “spoilers”, someone would post the riddle and instead of private message someone would post their answer on the thread........the real pooh heads would post “they are going to tell you that the correct answer is EYES but they are wrong” or something similar to give away the answer.

This morning I read an article about the riddle game in the Chicago Tribune – WOW this game has really spread!

I must note that I have a VERY “melting pot” group of Facebook friends.............if there is a “label” they are probably on my list – Straight, Gay, Conservative, Liberal, Christian, Atheist, Witch, Pretty well every color combination, Employed, Unemployed, Retired..............well you get the picture

My point and observation is this................

Whether the answer is right or wrong does not really matter to me................what matters to me is that 

For a few days I had some fun, some laughs, and I talked to a lot of people.

For a few days I saw riddles and laughter instead of steady stream of Negative Things, we argued about a riddle or the best giraffe instead politics and religion...........

For a few days one of the most beautiful, peaceful, and unusual animals on the planet graced my news feed............in every size, shape, and pose that you can think of............................

Now what is so bad about that?

Death, Dying, and Relationships

Okay “touchy” subject here but it has been on my mind a lot lately................someone very close to me is going through a break up and she has called on me for some support and advice (well maybe not advice so much as someone to vent to who understands and that is totally okay with me). It has brought back a lot of memories of my own experience and I have decided that this is something that I need to share.

Divorce or the End of a long Relationship is a lot like someone dying..........the biggest problems are the fact that there is no body to bury and nobody comes around to tell you how wonderful the other person was or how much they will be missed. Well I guess there is a third problem, the fact that this “ghost” is still walking around and unless you jump into witness protection you constantly have the chance of running into them or seeing reminders of them. I resisted the temptation of cutting my x's face out of all the family photos.........so far.

Particularly with Divorce (or the end of a LONG relationship), you have to divide things. I know you already knew you would have to divide stuff..............but what about the friends? Or the favorite place to go after the theater? Or the town celebration that you both loved to volunteer at the gate for?

Sometimes you get to make these decisions, sometimes your x does, and sometimes others do this for you. The fact is that you have to work through these “decisions”, you have to except them and move on. I know, it is easy enough for me to say.............but believe me I have been through it and honestly sometimes it just flat out STINKS but you have to go on.

Other things you may not even think about...............well how about your phone number? I know that in this day of cell phones many people do not have a land line............but back in my day we did. The fact is that it was actually MY phone number that I had (and made the deposit on) before I met him, but since I had added his name to the bill I had to get HIM to call the phone company and okay releasing it back into my name only. Fast forward to today...........what about the cable bill? Or the gym membership? All things you have to decide.

With divorce you go through the SAME stages of grieving that you go through when someone has died. I think this is true whether you were the one that decided to leave or if you were the one that was left. Even the one who “wants out” will have moments of regret, moments of loneliness where they will think of the other, and moments where they will remember the good times and wish they had those times again. And just as in death everyone goes through theses stages differently and for different lengths of time.

It would be awesome if there was a set schedule – you know maybe one week in each stage and your done! The problem, and the heartache of it is that sometimes you slip back into a stage you thought you had passed. The good news is that if you did that stage right the first time you won't be there long.

You just have to keep going forward, even if once in a while you take a step back.............the important thing is to keep moving. The life you were meant to be a part of will find you, I promise.

Caffeine.............Love It, Hate It............Do I need it?

Ever have one of those little Epiphany’s?........you know the one where you are doing something and all at once a thought flashes in your brain and you say “Whoa..........Maybe I should think about this further!” and then suddenly your brain goes into high gear and you start thinking of random things that have happened and they all validate your little Epiphany!

Several weeks ago I had just such a thought..............it was actually about 11:30 and I was heating a cup of coffee in the microwave. No it wasn't because I had forgotten the coffee and it had gone cold it was because my coffee pot only stays on for two hours and then shuts off...........and since the coffee in the pot had cooled down.........it meant I had been sipping on coffee for over two hours. I looked around and saw an empty Chicken Express cup from the day before – yes I do love their ice tea.

I have always been a “drinker”, meaning I have a drink all the time.............and it hit me that no matter what the drink was that I had in hand.............it had caffeine in it!

This lead me to the thought that I had spent half the night before out of bed dancing.............not fun dancing but “dancing” trying to get rid of a leg cramp that had woke me up in the middle of the night..............and this was not a new experience, I had been having leg cramps a LOT lately. My daddy's cure for leg cramps was to drink a big glass of water, and that was what I had done to finally get to sleep.

Recently I had also read an article that said that to much caffeine actually interfered with ones ability to concentrate................and I have to be honest in saying that I have really been having some problems doing that of late, to the point it has scared me a little.

I vowed right then and there that maybe it would be a good idea to cut back on my caffeine intact during the day light hours. Notice that I did not say Give Up caffeine..........face it folks I am STILL not ready to cut Coffee, Tea, or Cokes out of my life! Although I will say that the other day I looked at a can of Coke in my fridge and it dawned on me that I had not had one in several days.............splurge time! I popped the top............... (insert frowny face)........... it just didn't taste that good............. I didn't finish it and I haven't had one since.

Now there is a down side to all of this............yeah I know, everything has a downside. Yes I have had way more headaches than normal, I have been achy, tired, and yes pretty irritable............ I so do not tolerate things very well right now – but I have high hopes that THAT will get better!

I find it ironic that many of the Symptoms or Side Affects of Caffeine "overload" are the SAME as Caffeine Withdrawal!  

During this past month I am proud to say that I have conservatively cut my caffeine intact in half............and I have inserted WATER in it's place.............course at my age that means I have also doubled or tripled my trips to the bathroom but that is another story.

This past Friday I attended the Amarillo Women's Network Professional Development Luncheon, the speaker talked about stress and how to control your stress for a better life. And Oh My! She talked about CAFFEINE! In fact she even talked about a study where scientists feed spiders caffeine and photographed their webs...............

Scary right? What is really scary is that I looked at the Caffeine web and thought “that is exactly how my mind seems to work lately!”

Before that meeting was done I vowed that what I had cut in half.............was going to be cut in half again..............and BEFORE Thanksgiving!

Hope I still have some friends left by then....................and that I can pay my water bill!