I Will Take The Bottom

Last night I was talking on the phone to a friend and the conversation turned to personalities and just what made people happy. We talked about several different types of people we knew – ones that just wanted to follow, ones that wanted to lead, ones that were happy doing both. We also discussed some personalities that we really didn't enjoy being around. I, for one, have know a couple of people who sadly were not happy unless they were ANGRY about something.

It was probably the Leaders that we discussed most and the reasons they wanted to lead. And we talked about the satisfaction from leading and the different experiences and approaches to this.

I like to feel that at my core I am a teacher. I LOVE IT when a student “gets it”, when they figure out how to do something! The light in their face is a wonderful thing to see when they figure out how to do something correctly or at least the next step to solving their problem. I get further joy when they complete something and they are truly satisfied with it! When a student is struggling I spend hours trying to find a way, trying to find that one puzzle piece that I can share with them so that the light comes on for them..........and when it does, every minute I spent trying, researching, asking others is so worth it. I once had a communications student that her first speech to the class was given with her head down, reading word for word from her paper, and in a voice so low people two feet from her could hardly hear. Her last speech to the class was with head up, given impromptu, and someone standing at the door heard every word. Two years later she was president of a major organization on campus and giving speeches around the area. I like to think I had a hand it that and I am so proud of how far she has come.

Now I must point out that I also consider myself a “fixer”, that means I am much better at Fixing something than I am at doing things right to start with, lol. Yes I know it would take less time to do it right the first time, but I kind of consider the first time as a trial run to learn from...........then I can go back and redo it for the better.

I enjoy sharing what I know with others and I really like when I can help someone “fix” what they have done. Some of you might say that besides this being a “teacher thing” it is also a “mom thing” too, and you are probably right.

I really do like helping others and if I can help someone to learn something, help them to grow, or help them fix something.............well they just made my day! And their success is a major adrenaline rush for me.

I will not go into details about one of my jobs, I will just say that it is therapeutic riding for clients with mental and/or physical challenges and part of my job is physical. Now I do a lot of paperwork, I do a lot of talking, and a lot of fund raising. But I also get to work with the clients and believe me when the night is done...........I have a bad knee (thank you basketball and rodeoing), a bad shoulder (thank you rappelling and bull riding), and a bad ankle (yep we are back to basketball) – that ALL talk back to me...........and sometimes they are still “talking” the next morning when I hobble around.

Is it worth it? When you have a seven year old that has never spoken more than a word or two at a time and you tell him you are taking him off the horse and he says “I don't want to”...........YES! Every ache and pain is worth it. When you have a five year old that has never taken a step on his on get off the horse and WALK to his mom...........oh HELL YES it is worth it!

But I know people that do NOT help for this reason, they help for the control that they get........for them helping is power and they use that power every chance they get. They will ask you to do something so that they can point out how you did it wrong – so that they can come in and prove to everyone how they can do it better than you. They are always there to remind you and others how much you owe them for making things right. And if you ever forget this, they will find another way to set you up, so that they can put you in “your place” again. They help only so that they can tell others how THEY suffered and worked to make things right. They help for the power and control over others that they receive.

Now I have been told by several that my attitude of helping others, my desire to see others succeed, and my willingness to push others to their top is why I will always be at the bottom. That I should take power and use it to rise to the top. I will say that I don't think the “top” is such a bad place, I just don't want to get there by beating down others or controlling them. I don't want to be that person, who when they walk into the room everyone cringes in fear and all the joy is sucked from the room.

If being that way is the only way I can get to the Top.......................

….........I will take the Bottom. I like the view in my mirror much better this way, I sleep good at night, and it makes me happy.