Change..................and I don't mean coins!

Change.................

Change – while it is not technically a “four letter word” (yes I can count) but for many people that put it in that category as BAD. I know you are setting there shouting at the screen that change can be GOOD and I agree with you............at least it can be good AFTER the change...............after you get adjusted, after you get used to it, AFTER you see that it works!

I like to talk a good talk.............I like to tell people that I LIKE change...........but in truth it is really a LIE that I tell to people and to myself.

I HATE change!

For years I have laughed and told people that I am like an old cow...........once I find a trail that works that is the way I go EVERYTIME! Now to me it makes total sense, after all I got to where I wanted successfully why on earth should I go to the trouble of finding a new way to go? Heck I might get lost, or be late, and just who would that benefit?

Now give me some credit here............my tolerance for change has several different levels and all of them begin with one simple question............

WHY? Why am I making this change? What is the reason? Why should I do this?

If the change makes sense, if it is going to make things easier (well after I struggle through LEARNING how to do it the new way), then my tolerance is pretty high – for the most part. Then I am willing to give it a try! I may be a little skeptical at first but depending on the outcome I may just embrace this change...............of course I may still hate it – I do have my reasons you know! Give me a break - I once spent 30 FRIKKEN hours trying to learn how to do a process that after I mastered it they sent out an update that made 90% of the process obsolete.

If there is no good reason, if it is going to make my life harder (or what I am doing harder to do) my tolerance level for the change is very low............in fact I can confess sometimes it is absolutely non existent.

I have ZERO tolerance for Change that is just for Change Sake! 

Now I must interject with a redeeming fact.............I can "tolerate" the Change at the end much better than I tolerate the PROCESS of making the change.  It is kind of like living in a house and remodelling it at the same time...........been there, done that and it was not pleasant!

Present Change to me...............then be prepared to give me Logical and Sound reasons as to WHY this is really a good thing.

If I still think it isn't...........I will tell you so

If I agree...............then we will both Live Long and Prosper! :)

Giraffes, Laughter, and Pooh Heads

Here is a riddle for you:

You log on to Facebook, you see a friends post about a riddle, you read the riddle and you private message the friend with the answer that you just KNOW is correct.............the friend says that you are WRONG and now you must change your profile pic to that of a Giraffe for three days. What do you do?

Laugh and change your profile pic?

Check Snopes to see if your friend has the correct answer?

Tell your friend that you are right and that they are wrong?

Make fun of the “stupid” game and the “stupid” people who play it?

As for myself, I laughed (actually I posted back “crap, I was sure I had it right”), then I hunted for an awesome giraffe photo and changed my profile pic............then I reposted the riddle to see how many others I could “catch”. For the next three days I laughed when I spotted a new giraffe, I teased friends who got it wrong (I had the right...........I had my own giraffe). All along I still contended that my answer was valid but I played along and enjoyed the game.

When I reposted the riddle private messages began popping up so fast I could not even read them all (hey to save time I actually copied and pasted “You are WRONG, it is your EYES!”). Some friends said YEAH I got it right! (Marceita Dorsey was the first and boy did she gloat about it! ;) lol ), Some friends said something similar to my response (Oh crud, I thought I had it right), and Some argued (gotta love the fact that the majority of the ones doing the arguing were engineers – boy can they get technical! Lol). I put a few of these on my list to never go to a magic show with...........they will totally spoil every trick!

Some of the ones that argued the answer still changed their pics and others did not.  I had one that got it wrong and even told me that they were not going to change their pic because the riddle and the game was stupid.............okay.........why did you even play to start with? 

A day or so ago the “memes” began, and believe me I laughed at all of them. I also noticed a few of the “spoilers”, someone would post the riddle and instead of private message someone would post their answer on the thread........the real pooh heads would post “they are going to tell you that the correct answer is EYES but they are wrong” or something similar to give away the answer.

This morning I read an article about the riddle game in the Chicago Tribune – WOW this game has really spread!

I must note that I have a VERY “melting pot” group of Facebook friends.............if there is a “label” they are probably on my list – Straight, Gay, Conservative, Liberal, Christian, Atheist, Witch, Pretty well every color combination, Employed, Unemployed, Retired..............well you get the picture

My point and observation is this................

Whether the answer is right or wrong does not really matter to me................what matters to me is that 

For a few days I had some fun, some laughs, and I talked to a lot of people.

For a few days I saw riddles and laughter instead of steady stream of Negative Things, we argued about a riddle or the best giraffe instead politics and religion...........

For a few days one of the most beautiful, peaceful, and unusual animals on the planet graced my news feed............in every size, shape, and pose that you can think of............................

Now what is so bad about that?

Death, Dying, and Relationships

Okay “touchy” subject here but it has been on my mind a lot lately................someone very close to me is going through a break up and she has called on me for some support and advice (well maybe not advice so much as someone to vent to who understands and that is totally okay with me). It has brought back a lot of memories of my own experience and I have decided that this is something that I need to share.

Divorce or the End of a long Relationship is a lot like someone dying..........the biggest problems are the fact that there is no body to bury and nobody comes around to tell you how wonderful the other person was or how much they will be missed. Well I guess there is a third problem, the fact that this “ghost” is still walking around and unless you jump into witness protection you constantly have the chance of running into them or seeing reminders of them. I resisted the temptation of cutting my x's face out of all the family photos.........so far.

Particularly with Divorce (or the end of a LONG relationship), you have to divide things. I know you already knew you would have to divide stuff..............but what about the friends? Or the favorite place to go after the theater? Or the town celebration that you both loved to volunteer at the gate for?

Sometimes you get to make these decisions, sometimes your x does, and sometimes others do this for you. The fact is that you have to work through these “decisions”, you have to except them and move on. I know, it is easy enough for me to say.............but believe me I have been through it and honestly sometimes it just flat out STINKS but you have to go on.

Other things you may not even think about...............well how about your phone number? I know that in this day of cell phones many people do not have a land line............but back in my day we did. The fact is that it was actually MY phone number that I had (and made the deposit on) before I met him, but since I had added his name to the bill I had to get HIM to call the phone company and okay releasing it back into my name only. Fast forward to today...........what about the cable bill? Or the gym membership? All things you have to decide.

With divorce you go through the SAME stages of grieving that you go through when someone has died. I think this is true whether you were the one that decided to leave or if you were the one that was left. Even the one who “wants out” will have moments of regret, moments of loneliness where they will think of the other, and moments where they will remember the good times and wish they had those times again. And just as in death everyone goes through theses stages differently and for different lengths of time.

It would be awesome if there was a set schedule – you know maybe one week in each stage and your done! The problem, and the heartache of it is that sometimes you slip back into a stage you thought you had passed. The good news is that if you did that stage right the first time you won't be there long.

You just have to keep going forward, even if once in a while you take a step back.............the important thing is to keep moving. The life you were meant to be a part of will find you, I promise.

Caffeine.............Love It, Hate It............Do I need it?

Ever have one of those little Epiphany’s?........you know the one where you are doing something and all at once a thought flashes in your brain and you say “Whoa..........Maybe I should think about this further!” and then suddenly your brain goes into high gear and you start thinking of random things that have happened and they all validate your little Epiphany!

Several weeks ago I had just such a thought..............it was actually about 11:30 and I was heating a cup of coffee in the microwave. No it wasn't because I had forgotten the coffee and it had gone cold it was because my coffee pot only stays on for two hours and then shuts off...........and since the coffee in the pot had cooled down.........it meant I had been sipping on coffee for over two hours. I looked around and saw an empty Chicken Express cup from the day before – yes I do love their ice tea.

I have always been a “drinker”, meaning I have a drink all the time.............and it hit me that no matter what the drink was that I had in hand.............it had caffeine in it!

This lead me to the thought that I had spent half the night before out of bed dancing.............not fun dancing but “dancing” trying to get rid of a leg cramp that had woke me up in the middle of the night..............and this was not a new experience, I had been having leg cramps a LOT lately. My daddy's cure for leg cramps was to drink a big glass of water, and that was what I had done to finally get to sleep.

Recently I had also read an article that said that to much caffeine actually interfered with ones ability to concentrate................and I have to be honest in saying that I have really been having some problems doing that of late, to the point it has scared me a little.

I vowed right then and there that maybe it would be a good idea to cut back on my caffeine intact during the day light hours. Notice that I did not say Give Up caffeine..........face it folks I am STILL not ready to cut Coffee, Tea, or Cokes out of my life! Although I will say that the other day I looked at a can of Coke in my fridge and it dawned on me that I had not had one in several days.............splurge time! I popped the top............... (insert frowny face)........... it just didn't taste that good............. I didn't finish it and I haven't had one since.

Now there is a down side to all of this............yeah I know, everything has a downside. Yes I have had way more headaches than normal, I have been achy, tired, and yes pretty irritable............ I so do not tolerate things very well right now – but I have high hopes that THAT will get better!

I find it ironic that many of the Symptoms or Side Affects of Caffeine "overload" are the SAME as Caffeine Withdrawal!  

During this past month I am proud to say that I have conservatively cut my caffeine intact in half............and I have inserted WATER in it's place.............course at my age that means I have also doubled or tripled my trips to the bathroom but that is another story.

This past Friday I attended the Amarillo Women's Network Professional Development Luncheon, the speaker talked about stress and how to control your stress for a better life. And Oh My! She talked about CAFFEINE! In fact she even talked about a study where scientists feed spiders caffeine and photographed their webs...............

Scary right? What is really scary is that I looked at the Caffeine web and thought “that is exactly how my mind seems to work lately!”

Before that meeting was done I vowed that what I had cut in half.............was going to be cut in half again..............and BEFORE Thanksgiving!

Hope I still have some friends left by then....................and that I can pay my water bill!

The Need to Aim

Shooters and archers aim at targets, that's the point right? They want to hit what they are aiming at! Golfers keep their eye on the ball but they look at the flag on the green before they look down at the ball because the flag(at least the hole under the flag) is what they are aiming at.

Heck even dogs aim when they pee............I know, you thought they were marking their territory but in truth they actually just need that blade of grass for a target! Seriously, when it comes to peeing we ALL aim, male and female both..............although I think guys sometimes aim to miss just to drive us crazy...........and I still totally resent the fact that they can write their name in the snow.

We ALL have the need to AIM at something..............every day we have to aim, some times are target are big goals like a promotion at work..........other times they are small targets such as aiming for the refridgerator to get a drink of water (I must confess that many times I get in the kitchen and forget what my target was............got to work on focusing on what I am aiming at)

Aim=Goal – Target=Finish

We all set goals and we aim for them...........................our target is where we want to finish. This need to AIM at something is not even a self imposed trait............it is built into our DNA – we have to reach (aim) for something every day of our lives. Moses may have wandered the desert for 40 years but he STILL was aiming for the promised land. Columbas may have aimed for China and missed by hitting the America's but he STILL was aiming for a specific target.

(yes I am going to resist mentioning the fact that they should have stopped and asked for directions but I will not bow to stereotyping)

I personally need to set a LOT of small goals and a big goal. I need to plan my steps and each goal I reach is a point of “reward” for me and brings me closer to my big goal.

The hockey legend, Wayne Gretsky said "You miss 100% of the goals that you don't try for".

Many times our “finish line” is also our “starting line” for the next adventure. I am aiming for my next adventure.............now if I can just remember what I wanted from the kitchen..............

Cooking, Cleaning, Sewing...............The Power of Self Reliance

Can you cook? Can you do laundry? Can you sew on a button? If you can I personally think your survival chances just went up 50% over those who can't. Last week a friend shared a blog link “Be a GD Adult. Learn To Cook” from the Jezebel blog (yes I appreviated the GD word, I don't really like it). I shared it on my page and OH the party began, lol..............after my “storm” I went back and read some of the comments on the original blog and found that the majority of the comments there were Pro for these skills.

I agreed with a LOT of what Jezebel said and a LOT of the commentors...............cooking, laundry, and sewing are what I consider basic skills of survival in life. Now I raised two boys and a girl, they are not that old but even when they were in school any Home Ec or Life Skills class was basically non-existant.

Home Ec was a staple when I was in school but I have to say that I did not learn much from these classes.............in fact the dress that I had to make ended up going OUT the class room window three times and to this day I shudder in fear and avoid if all possible putting in a ZIPPER! Okay to be honest I totally avoid any pattern that calls for an evil zipper – I put it right up there with having to get a shot! :(

Now this does NOT mean that I did not have these skills at the time, I learned to cook at home...........which was always an adventure since I am more of a “dump cook” and my mom is an “exact measure”. Oh and for the record, my mom couldn't boil water when she got married, daddy taught her to cook and he did a mighty fine job too!

I think I only did one load of laundry while at home and ever bit of that one turned purple...........but my mom was a smart woman and she sent me to college with a box of Cheer which had the instructions on the back. 

Lol, I still remember setting on the dorm laundry room floor with Cheryl Williams reading the instructions and trying to figure out how to sort. Enter the angel known as the cleaning lady and she helped us with that first venture.................btw, later I found out that my grandmother sent mom to college with a box of Cheer AND the cleaning lady there helped her sort her laundry!

As for sewing, well a needle and thread and I have a LONG history! I was helping my Granny quilt when I was four, I always loved sewing...........to the point that it did get me in trouble a couple of times. My favorite actually didn't ME in trouble but it got Papa in trouble! Lol, he kept me while granny was working, I made the most AWESOME dress from one of her big quilt scraps..........she wasn't real happy when she got home and found out what I had done. Come to think of it, I put a ZIPPER in that dress and it totally worked...........but I guess it is much easier when you are five years old and using just a needle and thread.

Fast forward a few years and I have children of my own...........from the day the boys were born I vowed that before they left my house they would know how to cook somethng besides a ham sandwich, do a load of laundry without turning everything purple, AND be able to sew on a button...........then if they could find some stinking girl to do it so be it! At least they would have the skills if they needed them. I did the same thing with my daughter.........and yes she will probably be that “stinky girl” some boy finds some day, lol.

Not only did we work on these things at home, my kids were very active in 4-H, not only learning but also competing in cooking, sewing, and other contests. Now some people do not see a pride or value in a male knowing how to sew..........lol.......in fact one year when my oldest son was about 10 and had just competed in the District competition for sewing, we were at a local pizza place with my parents and some friends of theirs. The gentleman is a “man's man”, former military – oilfield – rancher..............he leaned over to my dad and said “He is proud of his sewing, don't you have a problem with that?”............quick note here, my dad was a BIG STRONG guy – 6'2” and he could pick up anything he wanted to pick up. My dad leaned in and said “I know how to SEW, I helped my mother quilt when I was little and I quilted part of each of my grandkids baby blankets.........you got a problem with THAT?”...............btw, the answer was a hurried “No, no problem”.

My point of this long story is short.................Cooking, Cleaning, and Sewing are basic skills that EVERYONE should know and I truly believe for several years we have not given them the value that they deserve.

The list of BLAME is long:

Budget cuts

The push toward technology learning in school (something always has to give)

Woman's rights (don't barbeque me on this one – I KNOW females that refused to learn to cook so that they would never be “stuck” in a kitchen)

Gender roles (face it we still are biased towards cooking, cleaning, and sewing being a “womans job”)

Sterotypes (again there are people – male and female – that think if a guy is cutting out a pattern he must be gay)

Well the list is longer than you have time to read. I think we need to get back to the teaching and nurtoring of these basic skills for BOTH genders and at a school age or younger! These are skills that you can set aside and pick up when they are needed..............even years down the road!

I read several comments about the fact of TIME and the LACK of it (mainly with cooking)...........and I do agree.............but I also argue that is what freezers (my aunt used spend Sunday making meals for the rest of the week), crock pots (oh Lord Bless the person that invented these beauties - there are some great websites devoted to crock pot cooking), and leftovers (cook it once eat it twice!).

 

Road Trip...............It is NOT the Destination................

It is Not the Destination, but rather the journey that made this road trip (an many others) so special. For some the destination is just the icing on the cake, for others it can be just a sidenote or largely forgotten............it is the conversation, the laughter, and the stops along the way that implants it in our memory banks to be drawn from as life goes on.

Our road trip started weeks ago when the news broke about the two cars and six bodies being found in FossLake. The discussion at our coffee meeting was of shock in the discovery and shock at how this could have happened 40 years ago and them just being found. For some coffee groups this would have been a quick converation.........lol, well Laura is a writter and a journalist, I dabble at writing and am a journlist, Marceita is into ghosts and all things spooky, and Becca is into mysterys and spooky things..............so this event was a hot topic for us!

The trip started off in sunshine but the clouds (in the sky) quickly moved in...........or I should say we drove into them. That didn't stop the sunshine in the car though............if a car could run on laughter we could have driven around the world on the giggles that insued! We took a lesson from CARS and we stopped along the way, first at the Groom cross

Then in Shamrock, Texas to visit the U-Drop-Inn. The wonderful lady manning the gift shop there told us that if we were going to Elk City, Oklahoma we should just drive a little further to Clinton and go to the casino. That prospect was discussed but Laura and I didn't really feel up to donating to the casino fund.

Part of our plan was to visit the Route66 Museum in Elk City............wait...............this has gone from a Mystery Trip to a Route 66 Trip ..........oh well, every good journey should have some twists! The rain continued, the cold set in, and still we laughed and drove.........and did I mention that we got lost?

Getting lost can lead to some wonderful discoveries, course in our case it also led to the fact that we were almost out of gas. We ended up at the only quick stop in Hammon, Oklahoma complete with (in our minds) antique gas pumps and strange surroundings.............

so of course the group voted to sacrifice Marceita to ask for directions. Becca was a little worried for her safety when she stayed so long inside, Laura and I were more concerned for the locals inside! Lol

(and yes I had to drive over the Foss Lake dam, I hate that drive even on a clear day!)

We finally got to the lake, we got colder and wet! After that it was time to eat! Thanks to a friends recommendation we ate at Pedro's in Elk City...........the food was great and we all loved the tables and chairs............well except one booth, I was really worried about the artist's mind set when he/she did this one!

By the time we finished eating it was 3:30 and we decided to skip the museum and call it a day. All in all we only did TWO things that we had actually planned to do.............and a WHOLE BUNCH that was unplanned. In some books this would have made the trip a failure. But for us it was a complete and total success!

We laughed, we giggled, we solved the worlds problems...........we saw old things, new things, and did a whole bunch of things we had not planned to do.

The Journey was AWESOME! :)