Bowling Alone is BAD for us!

Personally the only people I know that have ever bowled alone were professionals or members of a team who were practicing. Ever gone to a movie by yourself? I have and I have seen some good ones and bad ones, but one thing I have found – whether it's good or bad, I enjoyed it much more if I had a friend with me to laugh or “groan” with.

Last night my darling daughter (yes sometimes that description changes but it depends on what she has done) “roared” into my house all excited. She is a junior at West Texas A&M University, a Business Major, the Scheduling Manager at the Canyon McDonald's, and a member of the Chi Omega Sorority (yes technically it is a Fraternity since it was started by a man but the girls go with the Sorority tag for less confusion).  Mary has always been involved in groups (4-H, FFA, Girl Scouts) and activities (cheerleading, student council, basketball, volleyball). 

I raised her to be involved in her community and her world but to be honest I never thought of her as a prospect for a sorority.............gosh, am I ever glad that I was WRONG on that call! Last night was a case of redecorating her car because Rush (my bad, Rush is an old term, they call it Recruitment now) is next week, and I got to hear exciting stories about their photo session and all the plans they had for Recruitment.

Looking back on my undergraduate years and to the present of having taught a freshman Communication class since 2009 I have thought several times about WHY some students don't make it to graduation. I have even thought ahead to why some people do not succeed in the work place and in life. This morning I had one of those little “flashes” (and I don't mean a hot flash – this was a light bulb flash)..............I remember (mainly because my mom saved them for ages) my first grade report card and one of the things I was graded on was “plays well with others”, as I got older that category changed to “works well with others”............it made me think..........

Several months ago a former instructor of mine, Dr. James Hallmark (he is now a Provost at A&M University in College Station) recommended a book to me -  " Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of the American Community " by Robert D. Puttman.

“Drawing on vast new data that reveal Americans’ changing behaviour, Putnam shows how we have become increasingly disconnected from one another and how social structures—whether they be PTA, church, or political parties—have disintegrated. Until the publication of this ground breaking work, no one had so deftly diagnosed the harm that these broken bonds have wreaked on our physical and civic health, nor had anyone exalted their fundamental power in creating a society that is happy, healthy, and safe.

Like defining works from the past, such as The Lonely Crowd and The Affluent Society, and like the works of C. Wright Mills and Betty Friedan, Putnam’s Bowling Alone has identified a central crisis at the heart of our society and suggests what we can do”

We have spent many years teaching our children (and ourselves) to be themselves, to be individuals, to follow a different path..............but I think somewhere along the way we forgot a very important fact.............LIFE is about being part of a TEAM!
The community you live in could not survive if there was not a Team of people keeping it together – the city government, the police department, the fire department, the schools, etc.

Your work place is a team, no one – not even the farmer in the field, does their job completely by themselves! We all depend on someone to get something done in order for us to do our job successfully. Many jobs REQUIRE an official team in order for it to be done. I promise you, NO single engineer designed and built the Space Shuttle, it was a team of engineers, in fact it was SEVERAL teams of engineers that made it happen.

Why is it important to discuss this? Because I think that one of the reasons our children are NOT succeeding today is because we are not teaching them to be part of a team. This is something they need to learn from a young age and it is something that they need to continue as they grow and mature.

Now what does that have to do with an excited daughter storming into my house? Well it goes back to my thoughts of why some students don't succeed in college. They are young, they have come to a new place, and many know no one there. Student's need to get involved in something besides their classes, whether it is a sorority/fraternity, campus church group, or academic organization...........


Involvement in an organization and the forming of friendships will give them both a sense of belonging AND experience in working with a team. Of course they do need to find a balance between fun and school but with guidance they can.

I am going to go out on a limb with my next statement because I am not sure if the statistics are available to prove or disprove my hypothesis BUT I think that if you could review the academic careers of high school dropouts you would find that the majority of them were NOT involved in any organizations or activities at school.

Many of us treat the old saying “All work and no play makes (insert name) a dull boy” with light heartiness............ but it is so true! Think about it, that week that all you do is work and you don't take time to play even a little..........just how long and tiring was that week?

So my advice to you is to work, but also find some time to get involved and play a little.............encourage your kids to get involved and to play - no matter what their age!

 
In closing I will say that involvement in our community, our work, charity, and family makes this a MUCH better world..............so stop Bowling Alone, invite some friends to bowl or join a league............it will make your world a lot brighter and your life a little richer.